On Friday November 13th, the dastardly duo of Whiffle and Blue Butt Plug joined forces in creating a wickedly evil evening adventure. Set in the deep dark forest of Willamette Park, 24 wiccan hounds joined forces to give chase to the two vile hares. Witches and warlocks were summoned from Eugene included Finger it Out, Bangkok Taco, Red Rim Jim Job, Snatch Snatcher, Urinal Diver and Haley’s Cockit. A sorcerer from Portland aka Pocket Pussy attended as did regular Corvallis necromancers One Solid Dick, Banned from the Zoo, Eggnog, Pole Whacker, Namron and Brown Pound Town. Also in the pack were 9 sacrificial virgins who had come to frolic with the elders.
Date/Time: Friday, November 13, 2015 at 6:00pm
He speaks of Virginia like it isn't filled with rednecks to the west and yuppy DC urbanites to the east, but we can all agree that Wiffle loves his butt plugs. To honor his predilections, Blue Butt Plug is joining him in haring this weeks hash.
The hares would like to remind you that Friday is the 13th day of the month, and that there is no better time to wear a hockey mask and give small children lifelong nightmares. So bust out those old bloodied hockey masks of your youth and see if you can catch the hares of Crystal Lake!
Details available on Calendar.
Please RSVP on Meetup.
Like a sex session on ersatz viagra, Hash #129 looked to be a limp affair – dark skies and rain all morning. However 30 minutes prior to the run, blue skies poked out and 15 hashers managed to rise to the occasion. Hares Eggnog and One Solid Dick ran us through and around the Timberhill Nature Area where the paths were mainly single-track, the scenery was great and the hills were pleasantly challenging. After a quick chalk talk Wiffle blessed the hares and saw them off with a bit of beer down the crack. Brown Pound Town had brought his mutt but unfortunately it appeared more interested in shagging squirrels than searching out true trail. Blue Butt Plug took the dog’s place and managed to find many of the YBFs by dashing ahead, up the longest steepest false trails. Wiffle, Dick for Short and Just J’s brisk walking pace allowed them to stay with the pack without being short of breath as they were saving their energy for nocturnal activities.
The first BN check proved to be impossible to find because the hares hadn’t actually stashed any beer, tricky indeed! However, creating a trend that needs to be repeated, the hares had stashed one good quality beer amongst the PBRs at eat BN so the FRBs were rewarded for their efforts.
Along the way, the hares had set numerous bOOb checks but the only bimbo brave enough to bare breast was Pole Whacker. At the dIck checks, your scribe didn’t stick around long enough to examine the merchandise but since the hash is full of exhibitionists, I am confident the wankers proudly put their packages on display.